Sometimes I feel like my life is falling apart. Falling apart at every single seam.
It can feel like I have no purpose, nothing to do today and no reason for being awake.
But that’s not true, it never is and I know it.
I might feel down, purposeless with nothing to do whilst the day wastes away but that’s okay. That is normal.
We can’t be productive 100% of the time.
Days go by, things do or don’t happen, and life passes us by.
It’s not until we take life by the shoulders, give ourselves a massive shake and say
“hey, wake up, you got this. You can do this”
And sometimes you have got to do just that.
And then other times you have to be okay with doing nothing.
You will miss people who have left, miss the times that have gone by, and reminisce about simpler times.
Things can be Hard
Things can be hard, life can be difficult.
It isn’t easy as I am sure we all know.
Most days have purpose and I have something to do so I feel like me being awake is worth it.
Other days I can’t bring myself to think. Can’t bring myself to feel.
No I don’t want to talk about it thank you. I don’t really want to think about it.
But I will eventually and I know that I will eventually and so I am okay with not talking right now.
I’ll face the music and feel the feelings and I’ll always know that it will be okay.
Here is me “talking”
Here I am, ready to talk. Well type with the hope someone reads, or not and that is also okay.
Nearly 1 year ago, I lost someone really special and close to my heart and I shall miss them everyday for the rest of my life.
I miss their smile, I miss their laugh, I miss their hugs, but most of all I miss their voice.
They called me everyday during the first 2020 lockdown. Never failed. And always made me smile.
Now I find myself missing the phone vibrations and the cheeky lines of “How’s my favourite granddaughter?”.
She’s doing okay.
Their hugs were always comforting and they were always there when I needed them.
But the memories will always be with me – forever.
Here is me
So here is me, 22 and missing a key part of my life.
Yes it has been a year. Yes I am healing but healing is a process and it takes time.
I miss them, and always will miss them. Always and forever.
But this is just another part of my journey, navigating my ocean of life.
And it might feel like I am falling apart sometimes, but I know that in the grand picture of my life, things are only falling together. It just doesn’t always feel like it.
So remember when you feel like you have no purpose that it is okay to do nothing today. It is okay to take a rest and not do anything productive.
Things aren’t falling apart, they are slowly falling together.
Take a step back and have a look for yourself.
Hope you are all having fun, navigating your own oceans of life.
Keep on going and always remember to keep
Sailing Forwards