Tomorrow, I am a new me – one that knows a little more and can manage better than today.
How to do life – who knows!!!!
We all have those days that this is all we can seem to feel but that is okay. It is normal.
We can have those days where nothing seems right, where nothing fits into place, where nothing can be done.
We Netflix all day and binge on the latest trash TV. What could possibly be next – 3 seasons of FRIENDS, yes please. Anything to distract from this numbness in my mind please.
And who to talk to??
Who TF knows!!!
Bad day incoming
Today has been a relatively moderate day overall but right now it feels so awful.
I did some revision – quite productive I might say and then I met some friends for some stress relief, but then disaster struck.
Went into a shop, got my carrier bag out but in the process, my favourite travel mug fell out of my bag and broke on the floor!!
DISASTER!!
At least, that is what it felt like.
All these emotions came out and after I left, I found myself trying to hold back the tears and prevent myself from crying.
LIKE, WHO CRYS OVER A BROKEN TRAVEL MUG.
Me apparently!!! Who would’ve know.
But sometimes, that is all it takes. All it takes to trigger a flood of emotion. And who has to deal with that – ME!!
Of course me, cause who else would want to deal with this influx of emotion – I know I don’t.
So who would want to be disturbed – I certainly don’t want to disturb anyone, cause who does that. Who bothers people with the seemingly dumb emotionally triggered flood.
We all avoid the conversations where we splurge our soul and tell all to people that have other things to worry about. Whether it be a stressful 9-5 job where the weekend is their only respite, or a friend focussing on the next stage in their relationship, or family who have as much troubles as you but different so they couldn’t possibly want to listen.
I know I have said to find your people in the past, but at times like this, it just feels like no one would want to listen.
This is fundamentally wrong – I know this but often choose to ignore it.
Let’s Take A Step Back and Analyse this
I had a good day, overall it was a good day. It consisted of:
- Productive work – on a Saturday of all days
- Lunch with friends
- Stress relief walk and talk with friends
- Drinks with friends
- Nice coffee and wine over the day
Then this one thing, this one tiny little detail of my day broke it all apart.
Small moments within the day have the power to do this.
You might not realise it but these tiny little, seemingly insignificant things can make a difference.
So what did I do:
- Buried my emotions into myself
- Carried on like things were normal
- Told people I was okay
- Hid myself in my room saying I just needed an early night – “I am just tired, it is fine”
Didn’t express how I was feeling to anyone outside of my own personal inner thoughts/monologue.
This Is How I chose To manage Things Today
Not the best way, I know, but it is today’s way.
Today, I am keeping things to myself, I am managing things internally, I am being self-dependant, and though this may work today, this will not always be the case.
I can manage things by myself, right??!!
I can be that self-sufficient, self-reliant, self-dependant person, at least that is what I am telling myself.
You all know what I mean as we’ve all been here.
That low of low, that deep oceanic pit which we feel that we cannot escape today.
However, I am aware of this fact. I am self-aware and know that sometimes venting to another person can be better than keeping things to myself.
But that is the key – it is only for today.
Next time, I might share and let things go.
But for today and for today’s troubles, I think self-managing might just work.
It is only for today
Today will be better tomorrow – I promise.
Get a good night sleep. Have some pamper, TLC time. Give yourself a moment to breathe.
We all have bad days, they are only temporary.
If you didn’t have them, I would be more worried.
Ups and downs in life are normal, after all, you cannot have highs without experiencing the lows. Having the lows is what makes the highs seem like high points.
How Do I know?
Slowly, I can feel my shoulders start to relax.
The tension in my body is releasing and I am feeling more content.
Venting and explaining myself through this writing medium is helping.
My mind feels a little clearer having written things down.
I feel more content within myself.
I feel ready to face tomorrow after some relaxation and sleep.
Tomorrow is a new day, full of new opportunities and experiences.
I cannot face tomorrow without letting todays stressors go – I wouldn’t be able to enjoy tomorrow with my focus elsewhere.
So Here’s To tomorrow – a New Day
Tomorrow is a new day, full of new experiences and lessons.
Filled with hope, love, enjoyment, and excitement.
Tomorrow is not today, tomorrow is new and unknown.
AND that is exciting. New, unknown and inviting!
We have learnt from today and can take these lessons and experiences to develop and advance into better days.
Tomorrow, I am a new me – one that knows a little more and can manage better than today.
So, here’s me, hoping my mind a troubles makes sense to some of you out there.
Now just remember to stay focussed and keep on;
Sailing Forwards